An anchovy, who will be named "Subject F" for privacy purposes, and has had recent contact with the newly-deceased fish, has already displayed signs of a soon-to-be contagion. It's only been two hours, but already mass hysteria akin to the previous, disproved Mad Snail Disease (the image changes to a screen saying Contagion: Bikini Bottom) is splitting up families, closing stores, destroying lives. A female fish who will remain unnamed for this report, has been found dead in her home, (an image of a fish with a pixelated face appears) with signs of a never-before-seen illness. News Announcer: Today, on Bikini Bottom News, a mysterious death has struck our streets. The scene zooms in on the TV, where a bearded announcer sits.) Suddenly, the televisions in the room switch on, and a flashing sign stating "BREAKING NEWS" is present on each one. (the scene pans out to reveal everyone around him drinking) Should I just sit here, or should I join in with these morally gray antics? Okay, I'll. Patrick: (talking to himself in a contemplative state) I can't be the only sober one in this place. (quickly chugs down Hell's Dame and runs back to the bartender.) This is a club after all, and I'm assigned to my. Patrick: It was kinda you who brought up the subject, it's not completely my fault. I came to party, not wallow in my own self-pity. Krabs: Your lectures about moderation honestly aren't helping. If your conscience hadn't been stolen by currency, I'd say you'd be living a whole different lifestyle. Patrick: You know what they say? Money is the root of all evil. I feel as if I'm only a pawn in the game they call life. Krabs: Don't you see, Pat? I've tried to get out of this downward spiral for too long now, but no matter what consultants, rehab workers, friends, family say, I just can't give it up. I'm often hailed as the life of the party, but I don't go to the extremes as much as you do. (pauses) Not exactly for me, but for you. Just binge drinking and sexual conquests.
Patrick: Hey, Krabby my boy, what's going on? (Patrick walks by and sits on the spot next to Krabs.) Krabs: Money and alcohol - the cause of - and solution to - all the world's problems.
Krabs walks over to a chair, gently sipping his drink, cradling it like a child.) (a bright red cocktail with blue froth and peaches around it is given to him, along with a small amount of money) Just consult me if you want more! I'm fluent in slurred speech! (He throws the dollar bill, which lands neatly in the bartender's hand)īartender: Here's your change, here's your cocktail, enjoy your drunkenness. Krabs ignores the groupies circling around him and orders a drink.)īartender: Let me see, I've got (he turns around to face the cascade of drinks behind him) Flaming Tongue Vodka, Super-Strength Scotch, and our trademark cocktail, the one-and-only (quiet) Hell's Dame. Krabs: Ladies, the Krab's all here! (the female fish seductively dance around him. Walking in, he fumbles through his pocket and reaches for a dollar bill, grabs it and holds it up in the air.) He opens it, revealing a brightly lit, flashy disco with loud dance music playing, fish rambunctiously dancing, and alcoholic drinks being served aplenty. Krabs walks up to it, a gaggle of girls following him. A caption at the bottom of the screen states:īIKINI BOTTOM - TWO DAYS BEFORE INFECTION.Ĭlose-up on the door as Mr. (Cut to a wide shot of the outside of a nightclub. How about I tell my story like it is, from the very start? This is my life, my struggle, my cry for help in a silent world. Sad how such a developed civilization went to waste so quickly. As she yells, SpongeBob continues his monologue.) Bikini Bottom back then, (the scene fast-forwards to show a deserted, burning street with zombies trudging through the scenery) Bikini Bottom now.
(The insect extraordinarily leaps at the fish, jaws spread wide, and latches onto her arm. (The camera jarringly pans to the ground, showing a green, arthropodous, larger-than-normal insect with unsettlingly large fangs pacing towards a female fish sitting on a park bench, scanning through her purse) This is the bite that started it all, shaped what life would come to be. Remain prepared at all costs, the less seriously you take life, the more horrors will come your path. These days, it's all about survival of the fittest. Or so it was, before the Infection struck and tore our lives apart, leaving the algae a blood-flecked brown, forever lined with the bodies of friends and foes alike. As the camera zooms at hurtling speed across the bustling streets of Bikini Bottom, the off-screen voice of SpongeBob speaks)